Sekelumit Rasa Yang Langsung Tak Enak

The air wasn't crisp and the sun wasn't shining when... he came and made me confused. Bilamana aku mula berasa kesah terhadap seseorang... semua jenis perasaan turut datang. Apa ayat aku ni? So lame (> _ <)

Datang bersama bunga tapi buat muka tak hensem :(

Whatever.

Aku tak suka fall in love. Sebab aku tak suka perasaan tuu yang datang bersama pakej perasaan jealous yang melampau, ragu ragu, not secure, berasa terumbang ambing, tak mampu untuk percaya, yaaa. Shiznits! Dan aku juga tak suka apabila aku sentiasa berkepit dengan handphone, menjadi ceria atau kata mudah, tersengih memanjang, penuh satu buku yang diconteng dengan namanya dan mula menjadi pencinta yang setia, bertukar menjadi perempuan melayu terakhir... oh ke mana hilangnya suhaila yang rock cool tu?

Whatever.

Oleh sebab itulah, even aku ada perasaan walaupun sekelumit and tiba tiba orang tu pun ada perasaan sekelumit terhadap diriku yang tak berapa nak comel ayu ni and he wants for a relationship...aku akan terus cakap tanak saya tak suka awak. I do like him but I couldn't make him as my special and being part in a serious relationship. It's burdensome. Okay. It's not burdensome. But I am tired with insecure feeling. I don't know if he lying or not and I am afraid with it.

Whatever.

Your appears, I would say, it was like a magic. You're setting a trap and I almost fell into it.

Whatever.

I am not in love. However, I almost.

Whatever.

But when I got one of your text saying bla bla bla... suddenly I feel like I don't want to see you again. Ever.

Puri.

I really don't know what to do when I get confused. Usually I will run away. Should I?

Have Been Tagged

Just going back from Gombak, from 2 tournaments which is Shitoryu Interdojo and IIUM Karate Open Tournament. The first day was like hell but still I've got two medal; silver for team Kata and bronze for Kumite below 50kg. Andd the next day, I've got one bronze medal for female individual Kata. Then go for online like usual... eh eh eh, I have been tagged from cik Shikin. Well, it is for fun, so I am going to play with it.


Rules
1. You must post these rules.
2. Each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post. And create eleven new questions for the people you tagged to answer.
4. You have to choose 11 people to tag and link them on the post.
5. Go to their page and tell them you have tagged HIM/HER.
6. No tag back!
7. No stuff in the tagging section about 'YOU ARE TAGGED IF YOU ARE READING THIS' YOU LEGITIMATELY (a.k.a REALLY, TRUST, WILL ALL HONESTLY) have tagged 11 people.

11 things about me. 

If it was a fairytale, I should say this is me! Gorgeous as this!

But in reality

My full name is Nur Suhailah binti Shafian. But they called me Sue. Somehow my old friends or my relatives called me Sela or Lala.

I had 5 brothers. They are getting older but they didn't married yet. I don't know what things they're searching for. Bidadari perhaps?

I never be a tomboy whatsoever andd for sure I am a truly woman.

I am clumsy. I love being like a kid. Make fun of it.

I hate when I am about to cry. For me, it shows myself being weakened. Especially if I am crying over a man. It feels pathetic.

My favourite car is and always Mini Cooper S.

I enjoyed to be as a karateka.

All those 'segala-spesis-ulat' are totally rejected. I've traumatic with it.

I hate dogs. Whenever I go and I saw dogs, my heart was like pumping out of my chest. I am afraid they're chasing after me andd if I does, they do chase me. Shiznits!

If I've been asked to choose what movie to watch, I tend to choose horror movie eventhough at the end I was the one who screaming out lout. Haha.

I am not ready for a relationship. Not now methinks.

Alright. Questions to answer from cik Shikin

1. Domo kun or Angry bird?

Angry bird

2. Obses atau tidak kepada kecantikan? Why?

Not exactly obses. But whenever there's a solution for anti-pimples, I was obses and rush to get it as fast as I could. Hehe.

3. Sehari berapa kali anda makan?

If kat rumah makan sepinggan nasi sehari sekali pun dah cukup. But selang sejam mesti makan something else, mulut mesti nak kunyah kunyah such as bread with omelet. Kuat makan ni :)

5. Hp yang paling diidami?

I didn't have favourite handphone actually. Emm maybe iPhone.

6. Sudah follow saya?

Not yet. Hehe. Soon.

7. Status?

8. IPTA mana yang anda suka?

Of course lah IIUM!

9. 3 benda yang anda inginkan tapi belum tercapai?

Fly to Japan, pandai berenang anndd someone gives me a bouquet of winter rose :)

10. Keistimewaan yang ada pada diri anda?

Kuasa telepati yang hebat. Haha.

11. Misi hidup anda?

Hidup dengan penuh bergaya.

My Questions are:

1. Being cool or adorable?

2. Kenangan terindah?

3. What is definition between man and football?

4. Do you like pink colour? Why?

5. What is language the most that you want to learn?

6. Why do you think you are weird? If not, why?

7. What are you in the next 5 years? Why are you really confidence with it?

8. What type do you want when searching for a perfect partner?

9. If you told by someone that you are smelly, how do you react?

10. Status? Do you feel comfortable with your status now? Why?

11. Your plan for your future?

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Orang malang yang kena tag ialah.

Jeng jeng jeng

khainisa

Miss A

Cik Razz

Zati

wardiyah

pocie boss

sindadila

ameen topa

yaya

aman

athira

Fun. Laugh. Live

Selama 2 minggu selepas final exam aku habis, untuk senang lenang di rumah hampir setiap masa adalah mustahil sama sekali. Aku ada 2 tournament yang perlu aku terjah dan untuk berlagak macam semua itu tidak merunsingkan hati yang sejuk ini adalah totally impossible. Aku perlu atau kata mudahnya terpaksa ke Gombak setiap khamis andd stay until Saturday. Tentulah perkara tersebut sangat membosankan lebih lebih lagi sekiranya anda ada banyak masa terluang untuk jalan-jalan sendiri di kota Rawang dan mengorat mana-mana mat bangla yang nampak ‘kachak’ atau singgah ke pusat karaoke dengan member kamceng seperti yang selalu anda lakukan ketika masih bersekolah ataupun lepak di cyber cafe selama berjam jam dan bersantai di depan 7 Eleven sambil mengunyah burger tengok kereta lalu lalang. Tentulah aktiviti rutin sebegitu sangat menggembirakan apatah lagi diselang-seli dengan bergosip bersama teman. Unfortunately, you have to sacrifice your time and money by coming to Gombak and train with other karatekas. Gagahkan seluruh tubuh badan and train hard. Sungguh meletihkan!

Hahaha. Just kidding.

Of course my decision to come and train with them is the best decision I’ve ever made! In fact, in the first week on Saturday, aku dapat join ke seminar with Sensei Tai Moon at dojo Kajang. Andd next Saturday nya pulak aku ke MITC, Melaka dengan Sensei Rijal, Shafa andd yang lain. Damn cool! Tak tahu macam mana nak terjemahkan apa yang aku rasakan. Rasa gembira, terharu, excited, even rasa nak menari tengah tengah hall tu pun ada. First time aku melangkah masuk ke MITC tu mata aku dah terbeliak cheh cheh... HAHAHA. Yelah kaann, semua rambut macam macam colour datang dari macam macam negara. Bila pandang ke kiri, nafas aku terus jadi sesak. Bungkam. Tak terkata. Ada beberapa team dari Jepun la >_<

Saat itulah tiba tiba aku terangguk angguk. Yeahh damn you suhey! Tengok makhluk dari Jepun pun boleh jadi gugup gugup malu gituh. Alright. Actually di Melakalah tempat yang tak tersangka aku jejak hanya untuk menyaksikan jeng jeng jeng...

7th World Junior and Cadet Championships ( WKF )!!!

Tu link diaaa ----> WKF :)

Nak ke tempat penonton then kena panjat tangga mak aihhh punyalah tinggi, kiri kanan semua mat saleh jaa... aku dah mula sengih. Sana hensem sini hensem then kecek bahasa yang aku tak faham. Tiba tiba diorang nampak cool di mata aku. Hahaha. Group depan aku delegasi dari Italy. Tak habis habis bersorak. Ada sorang minah tu nama dia Lallo Viola. Fuhh. Shumeell. Seberang kiri aku pulak dari mana tah, Hungary atau Denmark. Tak pasti dah. Badan diorang semua besar besar. Tapi kalau diikutkan umur diorang still dikategorikan sebagai juinor which is below 21.

Pertandingan individual for male Kata tengah berlangsung waktu aku sampai. Kebanyakan Kata yang peserta buat datang dari aliran shotokan which is aku tak berapa tahu. But, once aku ternampak this one guy, i called him ‘yang rambut style macam mangkuk’ or ‘budak laki dari Colombia’ or nama sebenar Luis Felipe Aguilar Rodriguez kat tengah tengah tu tiba tiba aku terasa... hensemmmm nyeerrrr mamat tuuuuuuuu!!!! Hahaha. Waktu dia buat Kata sesungguhnya aku tak pernah terasa se-khusyuk ini terhadap sesuatu. Aku bet, if dila tengok, mesti dia pun sependapat macam aku. Hoho.

But, that guy kalah kepada peserta dari jepun iaitu Taiki Kozaki Of course lah! Jepun is the best maaa.

Aku tak pasti kenapa, tapi dalam banyak banyak negara yang terpekik bersorak untuk team diorang, aku tak nampak team dari jepun buat macam tu. Diorang just duduk tengok dengan tekun. Sangaaattt merendah diri. Sangat ohsem! Dari jauh aku boleh nampak diorang dengan berjaket putih bersama pengurus sukan yang kachak ke hulur hilir dengan papan ber-klip nya then jurulatih mereka yang dipanggil legend oleh Sensei Rijal. “Eh sue! Nao Moroka, Rika Usami...ha! that old man la diorang punya sensei tauu. Legend! Har3” Terasa kelakar bila Sensei Rijal dengan bangga dan excited bila beritahu kat aku yang dia dapat bergambar dengan ‘that legend’. Kahkahkah. Well aku pun dapat bergambar jugak dengan diorang. Chill ahh :D

Aksi tak berapa cool. har3.

Yang belt merah tu peserta dari Jepun; Taiki Kozaki

Budak rambut mangkuk dari Colombia. Hehe.

Special pose team from Japan. Kawaii ne.

Natsuki Shimizu, Sara Yamada koott namanyaa >_<  andd Kiyou Shimizu :)

Okay...bila waktu nak balik tu rasa macam tanak balik. Sob..sob.. Tiba tiba rasa sedih T.T

Waktu dah sampai kat Uia Gombak, abah mak and eh eh maknyah pak ngah dengan ayu pun ada. Hoho. Diorang hari tu baru je balik dari jepun sebab kak Intan nak konvo. Uwaahh jeles bangat seyh. Btw, ayu bought me this one yang pakai dekat kepala macam ‘banzaiiii’. Seriously, terharu giler. Terjerit keseronokan aku bila dia hulurkan benda tu. Dia macam tahu je something yang boleh buat aku tersengih lebar. Kain tu tertulis winning succesful but in kanji. Andd mak saudara aku pulak belikan aku purse berklik warna merah dengan corak bunga sakura. Shumeeelll sangaaaat! Tenkiu tenkiu :):):)

p/s kalau dalam kumite ingat je how budak perempuan dari jepun tu buat, ok suhey. Then you won’t be freaking out. I suppose.

Kemarau yang hampir panjang

First thing when you had this feeling, this unusual kind of feeling. When you have to complete your tasks and you have to work-out on your training, but then, suddenly everybody seems like to interfere to disturb and messed up with you at the same time. Come on dude. Can't you wait till my final end? Perasaan tu macam kena hempap dengan batu bergondol gondol. By the way, it's ooookay. I just have to put a smile on my face andd sengih sorang sorang. No big deal. Great. Big lies.

These few days is really tiring. The whole week. I have my final exam. My 'super' grading. My feeling which is getting complicated than before. My 'kawan' keep annoyed me all the time when he show up. Okay. It is because his text is full of semua-benda-yang-boleh-bikin-mulut-jadi-senget-bila-terbaca. Asking me for a dance? Euww. I can't dance. Dancing is for old couples. Andd anyway, we're not couple. Another thing is when I got trapped on my own-mistaken-of feeling. I see a super-duper-awesome-prince-charming aka hero malaya. The reality is, it is only a kind of 'rasa kagum'. Not more than that. Rasa nak lari balik jepun je when you see the other side of that hero malaya which is not as your expectation. It is like abnormal loss <------ term in accounting. teehee!

Oh, my 'super grading' is actually a disaster! Andd I keep thinking what have I done all this while sampaikan my grading become like a giant trying to do kuak lentang. Adakah tidak cukup training? Well, Sensei Najwa told me before... 'Pergi dojo is for touch up and gain some knowledge. You go home then practice. Make it perfect. Then you datang dojo balik untuk sensei check on you'  But what I do was... datang dojo have some fun, do basic kihon, do kata, angguk angguk when sensei ask me to do that, to do this... then when I go back to hostel, I forget everything. Patut laaaa. Great. I just realized it!

Andd my final exam?? I don't want to talk about it. Ever. I only can conclude that... when I am alone, I keep asking to myself, Again, What you have done all this while SUHAILA? Don't you studying? Yes I am. Studying only when tomorrow has exam or test. The rest of it? None! Great. You should hentuk kepala you ke dinding. I just realized it!

GETTING MORE COMPLICATED!

Someone please helps me. I can't see anything. What have I done??

Shiznits! Even patrick can't hear me. Is my life too dark?

Helo? Am I spongebob?

Ughhh. Tension.

So...that's the true story of 'Kemarau yang hampir panjang'. If I got one more chance, I will never be I was before. The old me is too simple. Takes everything in an easiest way and messed up all the things and get complicated as a consequences. Guys, please don't be like me. You won't like this complicated life. Actually, it is not complicated pun. It is just you sendiri yang complicated-kan your life. Then, ah-ha sana ah-ha sini membebel pasal hidup ini sangat complicated. Grow up la! (oh-nooo adakah aku sedang mencaci diri sendiri?) Tension.

What-so-ever. Tonight I have another training with Sensei Rijal at Bandar Seri Putra and I will do better.

Andd tomorrow??

I am going to Sunway Pyramid!!!

Yeayy!