Thursday, August 29, 2013

Masum 2013

Assalamualaikum. Helo.

Masum games has already ended. It was like *ting ting* vanished all of sudden. The pressure, stressful, the pain, the laughter.. we will missed it. When I was still in Nilai campus, watching all my senpai went to masum games, I bet they are all the luckiest person. Back then, for juniors it was like a dream if you are get selected for the team. Unlike nowadays. I can't believe when I heard there's juniors complained the training was tough, does not worth it, bla bla. If I were them, I am willing to give whatever it takes to get in team.

I waited for almost two years to get participate in Masum games. This is my first time. And it was organized in my home. IIUM.

Sadly, I made silly mistakes :(

If I can, I want to disappear. It hurts. It was indeed a silly mistakes. I shouldn't do that. That was the first time I cry. Not because I lost. But because the mistakes I made. Maybe it wasn't the right time for me to earn gold for individu kata. Maybe I should bow more. Be more humble in learning. Maybe Allah wants it to be in a special way. Who knows?

It wasn't easy for a sobbing girl to be happy again. I, myself also was surprise to see myself smiling. Nisa, Eila and Fatin. Thank you bery bery mach because you guys come and cheer me up. It helps alot. Budak ucuk mata merah dah ada target. Nak improve. Banyak. May Allah ease me.

Insya Allah :)

For this moment, I want to dedicate million thanks and syukur, first and foremost to Sensei Amirul Iman bin Dollah who always be there for me and helps me to improve. From zero to hero. There's still alot I have to learn and practice and I will train hard more after this. It is true that Masum is like a slapping games for me as a wake up call. Next, to all my teammates, aisyah afifah azieefah umi hajar syidah futuhat yat luqman raziman ameen ijat asap izzul afro rais adha fitri and others, thanks for being a good teammates and I beg for forgiveness if there's any misbehaves which I do intentionally or unintentionally. To Sensei Rijal, thank you thank you for 'kuda buncit'. Insya Allah, promise is promise. I will work hard for it. To my parents, thanks for always support and pray for me. To others, thank you.

Next mission: Sukipt 2014

Saturday, August 17, 2013


Hentakan kuat.

Aku tak pasti adakah itu penyebabnya. Mungkin. Aku harap jawapan tu betul.

Aku jadi stress. Benda kecil je pun. Tapi rasa nak marah. Marah yang gila. Nak jerit kuat-kuat. Tapi tak boleh. Tak boleh nak jerit kat sini.

Marah yang menggila. Aku tanak jadi macam tu dah. Aku tanak marah orang. Atleast, marahkan diri sendiri. Salah sendiri. Ingat Allah banyak-banyak. Kau akan jadi waras sikit.

Aku taktau nak mengadu kat siapa. Kat Allah, tentu. Tapi nak ada kawan. Kawan yang kau takkan rasa malu nak cerita apa je. But I dont find any. Not yet. Mungkin blog ni jadi 'kawan' itu? 'Kawan' yang boleh mendengar tapi takkan respon apa-apa. Cuma setia untuk mendengar.

Mungkin stress belajar tak habis lagi. Mungkin aku nak jadi dewasa. Tekanan makin banyak. Mungkin.

Ingat Allah. Allah. Allah. Dia ada. Nangis kat dia. Kau akan rasa lega. Peringatan untuk diri sendiri.